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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "sisabet" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
11:47 pm
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All Current Online Vids ( All Vids Below the Cut )
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01:02 am
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Joy and UnJoy First the Highs: My Festivid is done, encoded and waiting for upload.
Now the Lows: My festividder apparently has defaulted. Since I am finished I kinda considered pinch hitting for myself, but I bet that is against the rules somewhere. Also, I just don't think I have time to finish watching The Wire (this show is exhausting, y'all) and complete a recruiter vid that is designed to make me watch the show by the deadline. The mobius-ness of it all is messing with my internal balance as it is.
Is anyone else having a Lady Gaga Christmas?
Also, I am now reading "The Wasp Factory" and would welcome thoughts from anyone - does anyone else get this kinda weird "Catcher In the Rye" vibe from this novel - well if Holden had been a compulsive-ridden, most likely schizotypal serial killer?
Current Music: Bad Romance
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12:58 pm
[Link] | OMG!!!
*hugs heresluck very very hard*
Does this mean I've been drafted into The Wire 2010 Vidding Pack? Cause I do have ideas....
Also, wow! Thank you so much. I stared at the box for a second before I opened it convinced that I was now sleep-ordering christmas presents.
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02:50 pm
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The Vidder Poor Me Meme So, here is the deal: I am not participating in the Vidder Love Meme because I am so deep in the wells of "I Suck" thoughtitude, that I am both afraid that there will be no love for me AND (simultaneously) that any love for me will be just for me as a person by my friends or out of pity.
Seriously, we are talking about the DEPTHS of self-pity, here.
My Story, Let Me Show You It:
A few years ago, I had a Fuck It Revolution. Basically, I kinda stopped caring if anyone other than a few people whose opinion I respected liked or even watched my vids. I let my website go down, I barely made an effort to post my vids and I didn't post on LJ much at all. There were a ton of personal life issues, but for the most part, I was okay with where I stood as an artist and the things I had made.
I was also full of shit. Seriously. It all came crashing down on me at VVC when I felt fucking OBSOLETE and like a vidding hasbeen who never even was. I was a wannabehasbeen! I was Tracy Scoggins!
Suddenly, everything mattered and I needed approval! Or at least discussion! JUST LOOK AT ME OVER HERE, I STILL EXIST OMG PLEASE DO YOU SEE ME AND AM I EVEN WORTH TALKING ABOUT???? I even felt like shit retroactively over the vids I made when I didn't "care" if anyone ever saw them. Yes, I DID CARE. I DO WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY WORK!!! I am sad when it appears like no one wants to watch the shit I make.
So - inspired by this I present you with:
The Vidder Poor Me Meme
Here are the rules, such as they may be:
You can ONLY reply to whine about yourself. Seriously. If you try to spin something positive about yourself you will immediately be beaten down with breadsticks (I miss carbs). You can reply to other people's whines about themselves with support and love but ONLY if you are prepared to deal with an almost irrational level of self-pity and doubt. You can tell someone to buck up all you want. They do not have to listen.
Comparisions of Angst are absolutely encouraged. We can even have a VidderDome of Suck if you want: However, flames will not be tolerated (and this goes without saying and for the most part, vidders are very well mannered even when crippled by horrible self-doubt). I will delete posts that piss me off (ie are mean to anyone other than yourself).
Have "fun."
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12:49 pm
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Vid Rec!! BSG!!! Oh, Daddy Adama, while I love you a lotly, I am not blind to the fact that while you are indeed a Daddy Adama, you are not the best daddy in the world. Or space. Or whatever. Luckily, at least to me, you are hotness with your bad-daddyness.
This brings us to Starbuck whom I might love more than any other fictional outer space person in several galaxies and at least two universes, Aeryn Sun not included. Poor Starbuck just doesn't know that Daddy Adama is A BAD DADDY and it leads to badness. Or inevitableness. Or just gah.
Cause when Adama tells you "I'm gonna love you like my very own son" that should be a *good* thing, right? Except alls anyone has to do is look at Leemo and know "OH FUCK, RUN!" right?
Anyways, go see jarrow 's fantastic vid cause he puts all this much much better than I can. And he does it to the perfect song with the perfect timing and the pain and the sorrow and the hurt and hell, there is a WARNING on this thing which right away means it is up my and most of your alleys. Goddamned abusive cycles in space.
And then stick around for hugs.
Tags: vid rec
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12:42 pm
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The Airing of Grievances* - Dear Festividder... Dear Festividder:
Thank you so much. I get that this is an incredible experiment we are about to undertake and I am excited that you were matched with me. I promise that I love everything on my requests list so so so much (we are talking lifetimes of love here) that there is absolutely no way that anything you could do would disappoint me. For the most part I left the request and optional stuff blank because, seriously, I just want A VID.
As a vidder, however; I know that I'd appreciate some guidance on where to start with making a vid for someone so here are my suggestions. Please understand that even when I use really grabby language (like: "OMG I WANT A MOONLIGHTING VID ABOUT DAVE AND MADDIE SET TO TLC'S NO SCRUBS, MADDIE POV!!!" ) it is just my way. I may very well *really* want that vid (and OMG that would be an awesome vid, wouldn't it?) I'd be happy with ANY "Moonlighting" vid as long as it was not about the pure true love of Dipesto/Viola (ugh).
Here are some things to know about me: I am a very excitable person (abuse of the capslocks is something I try to work on improving). I adore Beyonce, Jay Farrar (and by extension Son Volt and Uncle Tupelo which also means no Wilco), Richard Ashcroft, and Ludacris. I actually love a thousand and one other artists but the four I mention here are the ones I like to an amount that is almost unseemly. Ahem. Not that there are any restraining orders, dear festividder. I am not that sort of person. Please don't run away!
On to my requests:
If I have not frightened you away, dear Festividder, I would like to again thank you so much. You have no idea the amount of joy contemplating your potential vid has given me. I hope you have as much fun making the vid as I have had dreaming about it and if you want to make a different vid than the ones I described above? Please DO IT!! OMG! And I will love it because it will be real and sincere and we ARE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS! YAY!!
*The airing of grievances is in no way meant to be negative in this post's context! I've just always been tickled with how it is a part of the actual fictional Festivus.
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11:56 am
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FESTIVID!!! I LOVE MY ASSIGNMENT THHHHIIIISSSSS MUCH!!!
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12:48 am
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Good Advice ie Vidding is Hard Vidding Advice I need to heed:
STFU with whining and lay some motherfucking clips, already. Geez.
Vidding Advice I need to heed Part II:
Seriously, enough with the whining. Lay some motherfucking clips and the shit will show itself to you. Dammit, woman, how many times does this need to be proven to you before you believe it?!
In other news:
I am so ridiculously excited about Festivids that I can't see straight. I offered 53 fandoms and OMG I WANT TO VID THEM ALL!! And then, the process of picking my requests just ATE MY SOUL because I want them all soooo much. I was so excited I went and wrote my Dear Festivid Letter but Eunice persuaded me to hold off on posting it so it will be easier to find for my vidder.
Cause you know...I post so much...
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08:51 pm
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New Vid!!! Merlin!! I am not convinced this is not sweetestdrain 's fault. Wait, I know this is her fault.
Crazy In Love song: Beyonce feat. Jay-Z vidders: cappylicious and sisabet Beyonce, Merlin, and Arthur agree: Jay-Z is awesome.
Download 40 mb xvid here
Feedback is loved and appreciated.
ETA: For some reason the streaming file looks off to me (it could just be me) but the downloadable avi file plays fine on the computers I've tested it on. I'll try to figure out the dealio sometime in the next few days. I bet it involves bitrates or something.
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11:19 am
[Link] | So I am filling out a nomination form for festivids . I still might not participate, but since I would kinda love to make a vid for about a bazillion things on the list, signs point to my eventual doom.
So y'all should TOTALLY join me.
So far I am nominating (since stuff I am also down with like Invisible Man and Arrested Development and Jennifer's Body are already on the list):
1. Roadhouse (film) 2. Lethal Weapon Series (film) 3. American Psycho (film) 4. Fallen (Film) 5. Superman Movies (film) 6. The Venture Brothers (tv) 7. The Incredible Hulk (tv) 8. The Incredible Hulk -2007 (film) 9. Resident Evil Trilogy (film) 10. Die Hard Series (film) 11. Save the Last Dance (film) 12. Nightmare on Elm Street Series --1984 (film) 13. Event Horizon (film) 14. Se7en (film) 15. Alex Cross Movies (film), ie Kiss the Girls, etc 16. Millenium (tv) 17. Evil Dead Trilogy (film) 18. Memento (film) 19. RPF- Death Row/Aftermath Records 20. Facts of Life (tv)
Anything I missed? My list is a bit gloomy, I know, but nothing says Festivus to me like a bunch of slasher movies! Yay, Splattervision!!
ETA: OMG I FORGOT TO NOMINATE MOONLIGHTING! Will someone please correct this?
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05:35 pm
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Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk in their masquerade... Real quick, as I am late to meet up with peoples for the Thriller Zombies in downtown Lex tonight:
Yesterday, I joined Weight Watchers. I have a lot of issues with food right now and being healthy so this time around I decided to go for the whole meeting thing. Y'all, my group leader has the CRAZY EYES. Seriously, I am afraid to go over my points. But I have decided to forgive her as she told me about vitalicious muffin tops and OMG so good.
I have to go get ready now. Sadly, I have misplaced my parachute pants. No, wait, not sadly - FORTUNATELY!
ETA: The entire POINT OF THIS POST! Happy Birthday Zen!! I am so glad you decided to be born on this day.
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02:17 am
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Don't Fear the Reaper OMG, I kinda want!
In other news, went to see Paranormal Activity tonight (and I didn't know anything about it other than it was low-budget and compared to Blair Witch). I enjoyed it and it got at least one good scream out of me (but I am a screamer ;)
Cappy, however, is terrified and now refuses to go to sleep in her room. This would be fine if she didn't have to have ALL the lights on and the cats were not contemplating mutiny as Cappy outside her room this late is definitely Not. Done.
Also, I kinda want to watch The Exorcist right now and fall asleep on the couch (I sleep really good to that movie, for some reason) and I can't because there is no leg room.
This is perhaps my fault for telling her PA was a true story. I didn't think she'd BELIEVE me!
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01:04 pm
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Things to Post About I came home from work last night to an insanely hyper Cappy sitting in front of premiere.
Cappy [proudly]: We have 13 scenes of Merlin running to or from Arthur in this vid! It's a theme!
Me: You've been watching vid commentaries haven't you?
Speaking of: I had a really great time with both of my commentaries even if I did peter out a bit on what to say about Peacekeeper. I recommend here's luck's commentary if you really want to make sense of the vid. Strangely, I could have talked about "Out Here" for hours. I need to keep this in mind - talkiing about other people's vids? Fun. Talking about my own? Well, there is a reason I vid things.
Oh, hey - did y'all know that heresluck watched due South in secret and made me and renenet a vid?
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06:24 pm
[Link] | Whew! I posted this for the viewer/vidder challenge. Next up is Peacekeeper! Ack!
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01:36 pm
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New Vid!! Burn Notice!!! So, this vid will be the last vid made with my old computer. Awww, if I wasn't so sick of it, I'd be kinda misty right now. As it is? FINALLY!
Anyhoo, thanks to the usual suspects of sockkpuppett and renenet (whom I might have mercilessly stalked for beta comments) and also to sweetestdrain and pipsqueaky and dualbunny who are all actually very easy to win over in vid form (all you need is a sequence of rough sex. Yes, I think this is completely normal) and most of all to fan_eunice because without her, I never would have gotten past the first verse. Eunice, this nipple is for you!!
Fandom: Burn Notice Song: One Thing Leads to Another Artist: The Fixx If this is up, then I'm up but you're running out of sight xvid 40 mbs
Download the vid here. I'll look into streaming options after work.
Comments and thoughts are always welcome.
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12:36 pm
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Tales of New Computer, Full of Sound and Fury... New computer is here, it is quite lovely and sleek. I've got Premiere CS3 up and running more or less successfully (it just looks *weird* and I am kinda sad in a nostalgic way that I will never know computer reponsiveness within a 6.5 backdrop. I guess it was not meant to be). There is a Merlin vid being cranked out as we speak - I've no problems to date, but while working on the vid Cappy has managed to crash Premiere over 5 times now. Either I bungled the install (very likely) or Cappy is doing something shady.
In stupid news: I have a completed, ready to be uploaded Burn Notice vid. It was on the other computer, on one of the slave drives. I pulled both drives out and was going to install them in the new computer before I realized the new computer will only accept SATA drives and these are both IDE. So, I went to best buy to grab an enclosure since the last time this happened, Lexington had a compUSA and the enclosures were like, $20. Best Buy only sells one size 3.5 enclosure and it costs over $70, but I was all crazy and flush with computer savings and going to spend massive amounts of money on a new pair of winter boots anyway, so I bought it. Insanity.
Then I got home and realized the enclosure only works with SATA drives.
So, yeah - returned and ordered an el cheapo enclosure on Amazon and it should be here by Wednesday which is also very good because I have two vid commentaries due this week and one of the vids I am supposed to do - I only have in WMV on the laptop. I mean, I could rip it from a DVD (I *think* I have a DVD it is on) except... it is *my* vid and what this says about my archival skills just sucks. I should be nicer to my creations, you know?
Now, I am gearing up to go over to the new computer and see if I can figure out how to do this audio commentary thingie. Cause I'd like to do it - the cool kids are doing it and I have a cool new computer and I don't want it to think less of me this early in the relationship, regardless of the Arthur-is-JayZ shenanigans I currently am making it experience. I do take comfort in the fact that alll else fails - I do know how to make screencaps. Or I did.
Is it just me or is Vista trying really really hard to look like a Mac?
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01:44 am
[Link] | The new computer has shipped and might be here by Thursday. I am doing all sorts of research-y type things on whether to keep the Vista 64 bit OS or downgrade or upgrade (although an upgrade to Win7 is almost certainly gonna happen) and general nesting (like I need to totally clean up its new space) and worrying about overheating issues (which it looks like the model I got will need an update to the BIOS system and possibly I need to install another fan to the case. We shall see). I am very excited.
You know what else is exciting? Viewer/Vidder commentaries are being posted at . I'm into this, big time.
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01:41 pm
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Today I have achieved NonObsolescence of a Sort: I just bought a new computer. I am... I am shaking since this (while still a cheap deal) is a lot of money for me to shell out at once. I much prefer to shell out my money in small increments over weeks and weeks of sad discount shopping. Or Sephora.
OMG! I will have 8 gigs of RAM and a core 2 quad processor. I should probably find out what those things mean, right? My current vidding machine is a 9 year old (is it 10 now?) Dell with a pentium 4 CPU 1.60 GHz with 512 MB of RAM (after I upgraded when I first started using premiere). The main drive is still 20 gigs. It works, still. I mean, for values of my knowing what works means, it works. I just finished a vid on it. I didn't really know what I was missing, honestly, until this years VVC. Last year, absolutedestiny took one look at my machine and paled and kind of backed away slowly, but that could have been all the fried food we forced him to consume in one day, y'know? (And seriously, mad thanks and all to him for putting up with my waffling for almost 2 years now).
I'm freaking out. Seriously. Also, what the hell am I gonna name it??? And am I really doing this just so I can show the world that Beyonce+Merlin=TrueHappiness? Does this mean I am gonna have to upgrade from Premiere 6.5? I *like* Premiere 6.5. It feels homey.
I can COLLABORATE now. Like for real collaborations and not the sad poor church mouse half-assed contributions I have been unwilling to inflict on anyone not named Luminosity. Except all my current collaborations planned are WITH sockkpuppett , so she wins! Kinda. OMG I HAVE A NEW COMPUTER (in 3-6 business days).
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01:04 pm
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Early Days Make Me Cranky. Grrr.
I was on Facebook, like ya do, and I was obsessing over my visual bookshelf (which the time I am losing on that app, just...yeah) and I entered "Reviving Ophelia" as a book I have read. I might have issues with the text itself, but it is without question a book that focuses on adolescent girls. The next 7 recommendations based off that book were all about raising healthy boys. The first recommendation, I was all "I've read that!" and I hit skip. Then the next one, and the next one and just...
Seriously? I am very tired. I am also really tired of "daughter" being a runner-up to "son." Now, I have to go eat some soup and go back to work.
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09:37 pm
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Taylor Swift Makes So Much *Sense* Now... I've been kind of immersed in "Merlin" for a few days now. I mean, I was warned that it had Smallville Season 1 levels of adorability (and gay) and even before I watched, I was unhealthily addicted to sweetestdrain 's Beast of Burden vid, so it isn't like I didn't know, okay.
I just had no fucking idea, okay. I mean CLEARLY someone should have told me about how Merlin goes back to his village and Arthur follows him because he might not come back otherwise and Merlin is always worried because he clearly loves Arthur but Arthur doesn't even really know him, the real him, and everyone is telling him to go for it with the crown prince like a kingdom full of frustrated Clark/Lex shippers, and that when Merlin fans talk about the the slashdragon, they seriously, literally mean a fucking dragon and not some bitter fandom vet who likes to flame newbies and then? AND THEN??? Arthur shoots Merlin's unicorn and Merlin cries about it and eventually Arthur proves himself pure of heart, or some shit, and Merlin is all happy and they stare at each other a lot and then they get into a fight.
They mostly fight about who wants to die for the other more.
Arthur: I am going to die for you. Merlin: No, you are too important. I'll die. Arthur: No, no, I need to die now. Merlin: Seriously, dude, I want to die for you. Arthur: But I want to die for YOU!
It is like a mortally wounded form of "You hang up first" "No, you hang up first" and I AM LOVING IT!
However, there are side effects of this much gay-awesome (gawesome?): I am suddenly extremely connected to the me that existed in 7th grade, to the extent that my "Merlin" vid-playlist is beginning to kind of reek of 12 year old girl and oddly? It fucking works. Scarily, I think I might be vidding "You Belong to Me." Or... god, surely someone else has done "Glory of Love" right? Didn't I see that at Vividcon? Please someone tell me that this exists cause otherwise, I might have to vid Bryan Adams and I just... God.
Do you know that if they do an episode where Merlin loses control of his magic, I will be compelled by forces beyond my control to vid SWV's "Weak (in the Knees)"? COMPELLED I TELL YOU. If sweetestdrain keeps trying to infect the world with Merlin/Gaius, I WILL VID George Michael's "One More Try." I believe the ancient texts of Tiffany and Debbie Gibson are speaking great truths (yet again). I barely survived 1988 the first time, I shouldn't have to revisit it musically, should I? SEND HELP! or, you know, your ideas cause I am pretty sure that at this point I have no shame.
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